The Next Milestone – How To Help Your Baby

This is a topic that comes up frequently in baby classes – how can you help your baby hit that next milestone?

Baby development often starts off with all babies picking up key skills at roughly the same time. Smiling, discovering hands, holding toys and finding their toes are mostly pretty predictable.

Beyond that it is quite a bit more variable. When it comes to rolling, sitting and even crawling and walking, there is such a range of ‘normal’. For some parents, when they see what other babies are doing, there is a feeling that they need to help their baby get there too.

So, what can you do if you want to help your baby hit those milestones?

Firstly, for most babies, there is no need to worry about them learning new skills. With time, space and opportunity, babies will learn; they practice and you see them working towards something, so giving them the opportunity is often all the help they need. All the practice is helping to build up the muscles and co-ordination they need to get that new skill.

When you see your baby trying to roll it can be hard to watch! It is probably one of the first big physical steps your baby is taking. There can be a long build up of rolling on to their side, waving a leg trying to get more momentum and then flopping back. Gradually they get further and further. Some babies get a bit frustrated but most are pretty happy with their practice rolling onto their side again and again. The next step is usually getting to their tummy but with an arm stuck underneath which they will eventually figure out how to free up.

If you want to help, you can gently help them roll a little further or tuck their knees in and rock back and forth. If that last arm is the problem gently easing it out will help them get where they want to be and probably be a bit more comfortable!

When it comes to sitting there is some conflicting information out there. It seems the best way to allow practice is to sit baby on or between your legs and support them. Early sitting is usually ‘tripod’ sitting where they lean forward with their hands on the floor so you can encourage that position while you support them too. Gradually your baby will start to straighten up as their balance and muscle strength improves.

It can be really tempting to try and get your baby sitting, it really does open up a whole new world and, if they are getting a bit fed up of lying down, will make your life a little easier! But the special seats and props to help your baby sit are generally not recommended for more than occasional use as they can hinder the natural body development needed. It has also been noted that if you spend a lot of time supporting baby to sit between your legs they are facing away from you so don’t get the same interactions from seeing your face and they may also have less tummy time. So many factors to balance.

When it comes to crawling, babies sometimes find their own unique route – we see commando crawling, one leg dragging behind and I recently saw a couple of weeks of hands and feet (not knees) crawling. Some shuffle on their bottom and others can get everywhere by rolling and spinning.

The steps to crawling usually start with pushing up on their arms, then onto knees, some rocking, moving backwards and eventually heading forwards with co-ordinated arm and leg movements. This could be over several weeks or even a few months. It can be really frustrating for you and your baby as they want to move, they know where they want to be and they just can’t do it. Once they have built up the strength in arms and legs to get into a crawling position (all that practice is muscle building) they sometimes benefit from having something to push against so putting your hands behind their feet can help them head forwards.

For all of these skills the key is time spent building up strength and co-ordination. Time spent on the floor is really key. Being on their back will allow them to practice rolling and eventually getting to sitting. Tummy time is really helpful for crawling and also building neck, back and core strength for everything.

Walking is another one that comes with a lot of steps to help build up to the final first steps. Your baby will start getting up onto their knees and from there to their feet. The cot always seems a good place to practice! You might also find them trying to pull up on furniture and your legs. Once they start they won’t be stopping trying.

Once they figure out getting up they start to move their feet a little – cruising around with their hands on something and figuring out the foot movements they need. Sometimes they get a bit stuck. It’s one thing getting up on your feet but getting back down can be a challenge. Some babies just flop back down, others stand as long as possible and then cry for help. Eventually they get the idea of how to bend their legs to lower down again.

The early pulling up isn’t easy to help with, it is all about building the muscle strength so the main thing is space and time to pull themselves up.

Once they are more steady on their feet you might find you spend a lot of time holding their hands while they balance and take steps.

In time they start to get their balance, they can pull up and let go. Sometimes it seems they don’t even realise they are doing it! Once they notice they fall down again. Once the balance is there the next thing is the steps. Some start with a really tentative step or two, others are just off and ready to go.

You will know your baby. So many times I have seen babies that can definitely walk but they haven’t quite got the confidence to let go of a finger for safety and support. Once they go for it there is no stopping them. Others are happy to launch off and see what happens. If you have a little one who needs a little longer or a little more confidence you can help them by holding them less and less or distracting them if they have a hand on a table or something to see if they forget their lack of confidence for a minute.

So, can you help your baby hit the next milestone?

You can. There are a few things that will help with specifics like sitting them in your lap or holding them while they try cruising. But the biggest thing is just to let them have their time on the floor and practice and practice. Every practice strengthens muscles and aids the co-ordination they need for that skill. Sometimes they need to figure out things like untucking that last arm when they roll, and it is just time and patience (some babies are not so patient and you can see their frustration and determination as they try to master whatever it is. Happier days will be coming once they’ve got it).

I am always so impressed when I see babies try and try and try again. They ‘fail’ so many times but they never give up. They are right back for another go. We could really learn from their persistence and determination.  

Beth x