Peekaboo, I See You! So Much More Than Just A Game

Babies and parents love a game of peekaboo. It is something we do quite often in baby classes and I love watching how the babies develop and engage with the game.

They start off a bit bemused by it, although we use coloured scarves so maybe they are wondering why their world has changed colour. Then it becomes fun. You put the scarf over them and pull it off with a big smile. They smile and giggle back at you.

Soon they start to pull the scarf off themselves and then they try to put it on themselves. This takes some practice and they might only be hiding one eye but they work their way towards better hiding. This is so lovely as you realise they are enjoying the game, they want you to engage with them. And it is a lovely way to engage and have really focused time together.

Peekaboo isn’t just a fun activity. It is something that is teaching your baby some really important concepts. You might not have heard of it but object permanence is a significant step in your baby’s learning.

When they are first born your baby thinks you and they are one and the same. They don’t understand that you are separate to them, a factor in how close to you they want to be! Over time they start to recognise that this isn’t the case. They are learning that you are separate and that means you can go. You probably aren’t going far – bathroom, kitchen – but to your baby you are gone because they haven’t developed object permanence yet.

Object permanence is the recognition that things you can’t see still exist. We take it for granted. Can’t see your phone? Still exists. Can’t see your partner? Still exists. Baby in the lounge while you run to the bathroom? Still exists. We have no issue with this but it is a huge thing to figure out and it takes time and repetition.

Weeks or months of you coming and going gradually helps them to learn that you come back. Peekaboo gives you a fun way to come and go. Most focus is on hiding baby but you need to hide behind the scarf too. Let them find you when you are gone so they start to understand you are still there. I mean they can see most of you but there is so much fun to be had playing hide and seek with a toddler standing in the middle of the playground with their eyes shut because they are still at the level of ‘I can’t see you, you can’t see me’.

Fed up of having a muslin on your head? Hide other things. These are probably games you are playing once your baby is sitting up so hiding a toy under a muslin and let them uncover it and find the toy again.

And in those moments when you do pop out of a room you probably still talk to your little one, giving them reassurance if they are letting you know they want you back. The fact they hear you when you aren’t visible is also reinforcing the idea that things we can’t see are still there. If you have been to Wrigglers or Movers you will know this idea from our listening ‘Twinkle twinkle’ section where the sound moves and then is out of sight but you can still hear it and it comes back.

At this stage, where your baby is starting to learn and understand more about object permanence you will start to appreciate why they need to, as this is where parents start to talk about separation anxiety. The times where your baby really struggles with the idea of being away from their parents, whether it is a few moments, waking in their own room at night and needing your presence or the start of childcare settling.

It can feel worse because this is the point where things might be changing. You might be starting to look at childcare in preparation for a return to work. That could be your partner, family or more formal nursery/childminder. Some parents will try some practices leading up to this, leaving their baby with someone for an hour or two. Or maybe a bit longer for a day or night out. For your baby this might be quite unsettling. They are used to 24/7 with you and (it feels like) suddenly you aren’t there. It is then natural that they need a bit more reassurance and might seem a bit more clingy when they are back with you and want to check you are still definitely there for them.

Around 8 months your baby has another big developmental leap. Lots is going on for them at this time as they try to master movement, they are probably eating more, interested in more complex toys and are processing so many things every minute. Think back to the 4 month stage and how that development impacted on your baby – they are probably showing similar disrupted sleep and a need for reassurance. You might have moved your baby into their own room at this point so the need for reassurance at night isn’t as simple as reaching out and patting them. You will need to get up and go to them to help them settle again. If this becomes problematic you can always set up a bed for you in their room, just until they are back into a better sleep pattern again (assuming you had a better sleep pattern at some point!). If you want to keep baby in your room because it is easier for you in the night or to reduce disturbing siblings that isn’t a problem. The 6 month guidance is stating they should sleep in your room for the first 6 months not that they should move to their room at 6 months.

So yes, peekaboo is fun and cute but it does serve a really useful purpose to help your baby in their development especially as they get towards 8ish months. Starting earlier is just sowing the seeds, helping them start to make a bit more sense of the relationship between you and them and reinforcing you as a safe, reliable person.

Fun games and lots of positives in terms of learning and development. Enjoy!  

Beth x